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August 30, 2004
RNC first-night coverage on FNC.
I clicked over to Fox News Channel to get their coverage of McCain's speech that opened the RNC tonight.
Brit Hume was talking to Ron Silver about his recent conversion to the conservative side. To paraphrase, Ron indicated that he was disappointed in the Democrat/Hollywood liberal view.
"They don't back unilateral, pre-emptive action," he said.
As they wrapped up the interview, Hume leans in and asks, "so, how long has it been since you last worked?"
Silver demurred for a moment and seemed a little thrown off balance. Hume asked again, and I got the sense that he meant to imply that Silver's conversion to the Blue state mentality had cost him gigs.
"Oh, I did a Law & Order about two weeks ago."
"And before that?"
"I guess about nine months, the usual gestation period."
Again, I'm paraphrasing, as I can't find any FNC transcript.
"OK, Ron. I hear what you're saying." And then Brit cut away to a commercial for I don't know, American flag contact lenses that show your patriotism. It could have been Ann Coulter for Depends, I wasn't paying close attention at that point.
I saw Outfoxed last night, so I'm a little on edge, I guess. But it seemed so lame, so obvious. Just by asking the question, Brit Hume suggests to the home audience that a conservative has as much chance of being successful in Hollywood as a gay man would in becoming governor of ... eh, I'm getting off track.
Even when Silver dispels Hume's suggestion, the anchor follows up with a conspiratorial aside that deflects the denial. "Ron, I understand you can't say more, as those liberal casting directors are conspiring in their West Hollywood star chamber to put you on the B-pile just for being here."
Okay, I stopped paraphrasing.
Posted by Your Protagonist at 09:26 PM | Comments (0)
August 29, 2004
TMI Neighbors.
This couple that shares the airshaft tends to have loud arguments that sometimes get physical. I've heard muted scuffling and shouts on more than one occasion, and once had my phone ready to call 911.
They also have very noisy, energetic sex.
So there are some nights when I'm standing near my window, straining to hear whether someone's taking a beating, or just having rough sex. Either way, there's grunting, profanity, and furniture being knocked about.
The discussions I've heard after the fights are straight out of a Lifetime movie:
"I don't mean to hit you, but sometimes, when you just won't shut up, it's the only thing that makes you listen. I love you."
"When you hit me, is that showing me love?"
"Please, honey. You know how crazy you make me."
And so on.
Not that it matters, but they're a gay couple.
Posted by Your Protagonist at 01:48 AM | Comments (0)
August 27, 2004
A few moments of your time.
I didn't think posting URLs for your consideration was my bag, but I'd really like you to read this.
Posted by Your Protagonist at 10:18 PM | Comments (0)
August 25, 2004
Calling you on your bullshit.
If you've acted poorly and I point it out, either shut up and look rueful, or take responsibilty for your actions.
But don't thank me for calling you on your bullshit. It doesn't make you look like some open-minded individual who's eager for constructive criticism.
At best, I'll perceive you as intellectually dishonest. At worst, a sociopath.
Posted by Your Protagonist at 11:41 AM | Comments (0)
August 18, 2004
8/18 Memo to Dennis Miller
Paul Krugman kicked your ass tonight, hard.
Pack your audience with USC frat boys and Freepers if you want, but it sounded to me like the studio audience's response to your ham-handed japes was as spontaneous as a Happy Days laugh track.
You couldn't refute any of his points with facts, as you had no facts at your disposal. It was fun to watch him knock down everything you said with data. The only difference between you and O'Reilly is that you have better manners, and a better tailor.
As Arianna Huffington put it so delightfully:
"Dennis, if you crawl any further up George Bush's ass, you're going to be the Sammy Davis, Jr. to his Richard Nixon."
Posted by Your Protagonist at 05:58 PM | Comments (0)
August 17, 2004
Can't relate.
I'm waiting at the bus stop after work last Friday and notice a knot of young Latinas speaking loudly and showing each other physical affection.
They touch each other with familiarity and tenderness, but also to objectify each other. Playful gropes, hands in each others' back pockets, brushing another's hair out of her eyes. The six of them seem to be by themselves at the bus stop, even though there must be at least twenty of us standing around.
The most butch of the crew lights up a fat blunt and passes it around. The smoke hangs thick in the air under the hood of the bus shelter, and the rest of us look either askance, uncomfortable, or generally resigned. The blunt gets shorter, and the women laugh louder, sometimes squealing as someone's ass gets slapped, hard.
And the rest of us pretend not to notice. Nobody dare lecture them, or even look sternly in their direction. Butch has a spiked labret and thick, inky tattoos that disappear down her collar and up her arms into her T-shirt sleeves.
Her appearance asks, "you got a problem?" but we're all checking our watches or keeping an eye out for the express.
Behind sunglasses and noise-canceling headphones, I realize that I have no idea what these women are about, what their lives or like, or where they come from. I have no frame of reference with which to judge them, categorize their behavior or draw a single conclusion.
Posted by Your Protagonist at 08:17 PM | Comments (0)
August 16, 2004
Who's your ad agency, Humbert/Humbert?
Minding my own business on the elliptical machine when a Sears back-to-school ad pops up on the color LCD mounted at eye level.
A number of dancing young people appear on the monitor, all wearing various brands of jeans. Apparently, the jeans are on sale, and these kids are very excited.
And then the screen fills with a closeup of some 15-year-old's ass in skintight denim, shaking like a Polaroid picture. It lingers for a moment before they cut back to medium and long shots of gyrating adolescents.
I'm not a prude, but it was weird to see this girl's ass being served up for our consideration. I'm assuming the target audience consists of young people who want to look hip and sexy in homeroom this September.
And people who've eroticized children.
Posted by Your Protagonist at 11:36 PM | Comments (0)
August 09, 2004
Clothing and accoutrements
I'm watching McLaughlin Group and I notice that every last one of these guys is wearing cufflinks. My initial impulse is to scoff at them because they're so adorned, but I like the idea of a crisp white shirt with cufflinks to keep my sleeves fastened and properly presented.
I should find a tailor who will measure me for a custom shirt and then scour pawn shops for a pair of links that say something about me. Sounds so pretentious. But shouldn't an adult have a shirt and a pair of cufflinks?
John McLaughlin looks ridiculous, incidentally. He's wearing a black suit with wide chalk stripes that makes him look like a character in Johnny Dangerously.
I don't spend very much on clothes, but there are a few things in my closet -- a blue suit and a Versace jacket -- that I do enjoy wearing. I bought the suit for a meeting with Francis Ford Coppola, and I wore the Versace the night I won five hundy at Treasure Island in LV.
I'm not a name-dropping asshole, I just think it's funny that these threads are associated with high points, however meaningless. Anyway, I think I'll start looking into the custom shirt idea.
Posted by Your Protagonist at 12:55 AM | Comments (0)
August 08, 2004
They're decorative
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
Stinky cheese, bread and two wine glasses on the counter. Pan up to a MAN and a WOMAN pull apart after sharing their first kiss. Something breaks free, and they seize each other. He's working on her top button for far too long. Furtive, funny, erotic.
HIM
I can't get these undone.
HER
They're decorative.
HIM
They're buttons. Why would you have buttons where no buttons are needed?
HER
Like I said, they're decorative.
HIM
How long were you going to let me work on them before saying something?
Posted by Your Protagonist at 09:59 AM | Comments (0)
August 07, 2004
Early casualty of the 2004 fall TV schedule
The other night, I dreamed I was watching a TV show with an ersatz news anchor:
"Producer Dick Wolf announced today that he was shelving a planned 'Law & Order' spinoff after composer Mike Post discovered that he'd run out of minor keys for the theme music."
Which is a funny line, but I feel like I can't take credit for it. Can I crib jokes from my subconscious?
Posted by Your Protagonist at 03:13 AM | Comments (0)