« No home training. | Main | OK, I forgive you for making "Sliver." »
January 27, 2005
Home again, home again.
I'm a little low-energy after coming back from the desert, but being home with L and the cats is restorative. I still feel vaguely dehydrated; there was a water emergency in Phoenix, so I ended up drinking only soda, juice and margaritas while I was there. Apparently, the water treatment plants are back online, so all's well.
I stayed up the night before my flight writing and reading. At a quarter of four, my dad knocked on the bedroom door, seeking to repo his laptop. I joined him in the living room, where we ended up talking for a while about life, family and lastly, The Writing Thing.
"So, how's it going? You making progress?" he asked.
"I guess. It's weird. I wake up every day and realize that my happiness and sense of self-worth aren't tied to someone else's expectations, or an attempt to please some boss who'll never appreciate or acknowledge my value or contributions. Each night, I have to take a measure of what I've done that day, and only then do I know if I've been productive, or if I'm happy. It's terrifying."
My dad looked at me over his glasses. "Frankly, son, I'd be worried if you weren't terrified." And then he told me how proud he is.
I'm not big on pushing inspirational quotes, but I came across this in an interview with photog/director David LaChappelle:
A real performer, an artist, wants to share their gift. They don't want to sing in the shower. Van Gogh wanted his paintings to be hung in galleries. It's not that they want just recognition or attention or fame. They want to share some life. Inside there's knowledge, and they want others to partake of that same thing they feel. It's like when you see something beautiful -- say you're driving and you see an amazing sunset, and you look to turn, and there's no one sitting beside you. Your first reaction, you want to tell somebody, "Look at that!" It's almost like you can't appreciate it as much when you're alone.
Posted by Your Protagonist at January 27, 2005 03:58 AM