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March 13, 2005
An Open Letter to Wil Wheaton
Dear Wil,
My GF's big brain thrills and amazes me. She solves everyday and mundane mysteries with elan.
Perseverence is one of her most impressive traits. I've never seen her leave something undone. If she's vexed or perplexed, she becomes that much more motivated to to banish all doubt and find the answer.
And so, this particular blog entry is dedicated to you, an actor-cum-nerd-cum-actor who's using the Internet to show the world that you contain multitudes besides Ensign Wesley Crusher.
Wil, I'm glad you've been able to freely express aspects of your personality, find your voice and stay in touch with your fan base. I'm even happy about your recent guest spot on CSI; I'll have to torrent that tonight.
So, Wil, consider this a personal plea; please return L's brain.
Since she discovered your recent crypto challenge, I only hear grunts and sighs, or extended musings about Enigma ciphers and the true extent of your math skills.
"In this 2001 Slashdot interview, he admits that he's no mathlete. And look at his SAT scores! I mean, he couldn't get his Linux install to run on a Windows box despite several attempts, so I know this cipher can't be all that!"
Wil, I don't hate you. I'm not as huge a ST:TNG fan as others, but I always appreciated Wesley, even though he seemed sorta square. Hey, an overprotective mom and an absent dad can mess anyone up, so I never held it against the character.
L seems certain that she's broken one of the two keys, and it was a hard sell to get her to leave the house this afternoon for a movie date with friends. I congratulate you on your ability to feed the hype with hints and encouragement, and I'm sure you're loving the attention.
All I'm saying is, you've got nothing to prove.
You're a very intelligent man, and we all accept that. Now, let me have my GF's brain back, or I'll devote this blog to chronicling your star turns in films like "Hambone and Hillie," and speculating on why they left your ass on the cutting-room floor in "The Last Starfighter."
Posted by Your Protagonist at March 13, 2005 09:32 PM