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May 22, 2005

Political TV show rant #124

Watching The Capital Gang is like making an appointment to get hit in the head with a ball-peen hammer.

It's easily avoidable and certain to be painful. It's predictable and mundane, and you won't be better for it.

I don't know why I never removed it from the TiVo lineup. That space would be better used for Jacques Pepin, hell, even repeat showings of The Firm, which by my estimation, is broadcast approximately 14 times each week. (n.b.: if you ever want some serious fun with TiVo, put "David Mamet" into a WishList.)

I'm watching the Gang and today's guest, Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-MA). Ted makes me uncomfortable. I'm glad he's speaks so eloquently and stridently, but he carries so much baggage that I think just enough people -- Leno watchers, you know the type -- just see him as a cartoon liberal.

I started watching The Capital Gang again with regularity last fall. TiVo was new to me, and I had some vain, vague notion that if I was able to soak up enough spin from both sides, combine that with news sources from around the world and filter it all somehow, I'd be able to tell which way things would go, enabling me to relax in the late stages of the campaign.

You can guess how well that went.

So, whatever. Kate O'Beirne makes me want to vomit, and I hate Bob Novak. I'd go into great detail about how slimy and odious I find him, but there'd be no point. Others do the topic justice far better than I could.

And then I realized that I think there's really only one reason I still tune in. To see if they've fixed the proscenium, stage left. Something, or someone, punched a hole in the dry wall right at about shin-level.

That hole has been there since last fall, and if I were obsessive enough to have saved episodes to the VCR, I could prove it. I'll leave that sort of work to Brent Bozell and the Media Research Center instead.

I always look for the hole first thing, using the DVR to freeze frame. I know, I'm weird. And as Jon Stewart famously opined, shows like these hurt America. But why don't they fix it? It's driving me mad. Is the show that low-budget? Maybe they have to scrimp so Bob Novak can get those complete transfusions each Saturday in the Green Room.

So, here's the letter I'm sending via the feedback form on CNN.com dedicated to TCG:

I'm a long-time watcher of your program, and I appreciate how much work must go into each week's production.

I'm guessing it's fast-paced over there, what with ever-tightening news cycles, shrinking budgets, and the pressure to pull high-profile guests.

With all that in mind, my question is this: will someone ever get around to patching the hole at stage left that appears on the front of the desk-like proscenium?

I've noticed for months now that the area has received some damage, clearly visible if you scan past episodes. Surely the stage crew is aware -- most shots are framed in such a way that the hole is cropped out.

I'm just wondering if the hole is a low priority, or whether there are budgetary constraints. If it's the latter, I'd be glad to send a small container of joint compound to your studios.

Best regards.

If I receive a response, I'll be sure to post it here.

Any theories about the hole's origin? A knock-down between Mark Shields and the Prince of Darkness over social security privatization? Maybe Margaret Carlson parked in O'Beirne's parking space and she got feisty.

Or perhaps it's just evidence of more liberal media bias. You don't see tatty sets over at Fox News, biotch!

OK, back to more important things.

Posted by Your Protagonist at May 22, 2005 10:42 PM