« Incomprehension. Rage. | Main | A quick thought. »
August 21, 2006
Remarks from Tom Cole's memorial service, 8/20/06
I'm glad we're all here this weekend so we can recognize the thread that connects us. We're all fortunate enough to have known Tom Cole.
I knew Tom well, but not completely. We were close in some respects, and not in others. I'm okay with that. We all show different faces to different people; each of us have many names. Even though he passionately embraced new experiences, people and places, Tom was a private person.
Double rainbow, Woody Creek, CO 8/20/06
This gathering is an opportunity to take the aspects of Tom that he revealed to us so we may exchange them with each other. Sharing big and small Tom Cole moments paints a rich portrait of the man. A scholar. A clown. A seeker. A teacher. A loving partner. Friend of the four-legged.
The most definitive things I can say about Tom is to simply tell you what I loved about him:
- In Zen practice, they call it "beginner's mind." Tom always exhibited openness, perspective, clarity, and an insatiable curiosity.
- His unique ability to be in the moment and to bring others inside so they could share the delight he took from experiences both generic and extraordinary.
- And his genuine concern for friends and family; his constant craving for connection is the reason we're here today.
Tom Cole was a very good man.
It's hard for me to accept that any good that might arise out of our shared loss could ever outweigh the light and the substance that Tom brought to our lives.
But the incomprehension and rage I've felt since his passing makes me more mindful about remaining in the present. When I wake up and think of Tom, I know I have a greater capacity for adventure, confidence and play than the day before.
I'm speaking to more strangers and spending less time in the office. I crack jokes in crowded elevators and remind myself to ask the woman at the coffeeshop how her day is going.
I only hope I was able to return the friendship Tom showed me, because knowing him made my life better. Definitively. I know he's given each of us many gifts we've yet to discover.
Thank you, Tom.
Posted by Your Protagonist at August 21, 2006 11:35 AM